Within 3 months, I have moved out of my apartment in Fairfax, Va to live with family in Burke, Va.  It was emotionally really difficult for me because I did not want to leave the place that I created for myself and called home for 2 years. I was leaving an 800sf apartment to live in a single bedroom.  Don’t get me wrong, I was very thankful to have somewhere to go and for family to take me in; it was just difficult because I had to basically fit an entire apartment (as much as I could) into an already furnished bedroom in their home.

The first few nights there, I was really depressed.  I was hurting, unsure what I was doing with my life  and I felt like a failure!  How did I go from making so much mommy 2 years ago to now, barely being able to provide for myself?

In the last 1.5 years, I’ve had many jobs and life seemed to get more and more challenging. I felt like a  zombie most days; just going through the motion.  I’d get up everyday and work for 14 hours straight (2 jobs). Neither job really had a purpose, only to pay for the necessities.

Once I moved in with my cousins, they tried to encourage me and help me with planning my next step. I was given a deadline of time to “get it together.”  That was it!  That was the right type of pressure, or so I thought.  Still in the following days, I wasn’t feeling confident in the jobs/positions that I was finding.

“WHAT AM I REALLY DOING?”

“WHAT DO I REALLY WANT?”

“WHY AM I HERE?”

Questions that I asked myself all day long.  In one 3o minute conversation with my cousin, I quickly and confidently decided to move back to Atlanta.  After 2 life altering years in Virginia, I was finally ready to go back home!  I quit my job the next week and immediately started to prep for the move; mentally and emotionally prepping to change my life all over again.

My move date was quickly approaching and I no longer felt excited; now I was nervous and scared.  What were people going to think.  I’m not prepared to answer all of the questions, like, “…so, what happened?” I fell back into a depressed state, figuring out, should I really go back? Is this the right choice? I don’t have anything lined up there.

But God!! You have not because you ask not.  I made a few phone calls to some contacts and shared that I’d be transitioning to Atlanta, to see if there would be a position available. Two days later, I received a phone call… I would start my new job 5 days after I move. Praise God!!

I’ve gone through physical, emotional and mental changes. I’m such a different person and I can say that I’m so thankful! I decided to look at my transition as a blessing.  What can I take from all that has happened?  What have I learned, what am I able to share with others?  I chose.  Thats the absolute most important thing to understand… You choose, you get to make the choice on how you respond and how you feel.  I now look forward to what is about to come and I made the ultimate choice… to love my transition.

Love,

Chrissy

Now, with that being said; the calendar year may have changed, but it does not mean much if you have not changed.  Do not get me wrong, I am not expecting you to be yelling out “New Year, New Me…” unless you really mean it.  You do not have to have it all together starting out this new year either.

I’m saying that if you were not pleased with the progress or lack of progression in 2016, then you MUST change your mindset, attitude and assess your drive for better.

You may be asking how. How do you all of a sudden incorporate this “magical change” in your life?  It is not easy, but I have come up with a few steps that I think could be constructive:

1.  Sit down, take time aside in a quiet space:                                                                                                 -Sit still, sit quiet and reflect.
2. Do an honest assessment:                                                                                                                              -Take note of things that you wanted in 2016.                                                                                            -Why/Why didn’t they happen?                                                                                                                      -Was it things you had control over ?                                                                                                            -What are things that you want/looking forward to in 2017?                                                                                                                                                                -What will you do differently to make them happen?
3. (one of my favorites) Get an accountability partner:                                                                                 – A friend/mentor, someone you trust.
4. -Allow them to challenge you.                                                                                                                         -To critique& encourage                                                                                                                                   -We need the pull & push from                                                                                                              outside sources to get us to                                                                                                                        the next level.
5. Don’t be so hard on yourself:                                                                                                                         -There are enough people & forces that are hard on                                                                          you, give yourself a break.                                                                                                                              -Enjoy, in moderation, your journey.                                                                                                             -If it does not get done when you want/plan. keep                                                                       pushing.  Don’t place yourself in a box.                                                                                                  “Each setback is a set up for a comeback.”   -Eric Thomas                                                                                              (if you allow it)

Love,

Chrissy

Lets really take time to think about it… You hold grudges towards people, you like someone and don’t tell them. You are really embarrassed about something and you won’t share it.  You have ideas (good/bad) and have not expressed them.  And the list goes on!

So often we feel safer or more confident when we keep things bottled in.  We don’t want people to know our thoughts and feelings.  We fear that we will be judged or that someone will get too close to us.  Sometimes we don’t want to hurt others, so we don’t share our thoughts that we are hoarding.  Or should I say the thoughts that are hurting us?

I suffer from the hoarding condition myself. I suffer from not telling people when they hurt me.  Now, why should I be afraid to tell people to stop?  That should be so easy, right? My thought process is that I don’t want them to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.  So, I hoard these feelings for days, months and even years.  We all know that this isn’t helpful for me.  Any type of hoarding is a serious condition.  It is just that the mass on looks at hoarding as ones’ home that is packed with stuff.

I am here to confess that I am a hoarder and my “house” is full of years of “stuff.”

So now that that is  out of the way, what is the next step for me and you?

1st. Be fed up enough to want to change

2nd. Acknowledge what it is that you’re hoarding

3rd. Attack each situation separately

4th. Take your time.  Depending on how long you have been hoarding, it can get rough and you are probably sensitive to that situation. 

Love,

Chrissy

Now, if your parents were like mine, they would say; “don’t do things because other people are doing it.”  It would usually be followed by; “if your friends jump off of a bridge, would you?”

At this point in my life my response would be, “if that bridge was my current status in life and the lake was full of awesomeness, then… yes, I would totally jump!

When I talk to friends, look through my different social media platforms; I often see many of my peers doing what it seems to be excelling in life.  They have multiple degrees, starting businesses, buying homes, etc.  Now let me start by saying that I am a smart young lady.  I graduated from a highly ranked engineering university in Georgia. I have worked for Fortune 500 companies and own my own car.  In this situation, no one is better than the other.  My peers have just made decisions that I am finally ready to make, to be great!  I have resources and the support team to do so as well.

Honestly, What Else Am I Doing?  Lol!

I am single, I am young, I don’t have any children; I am not responsible for anyone other than myself.

My job is downstairs of my apartment, so that cuts down on commuting time.  This leaves me with having a lot of extra time on my hands.  Since I have moved from Georgia to Virginia; I have not really met many friends, so I really have a lot of time.  So why do I not use all of this time to my benefit?  Well, I am now choosing to do so.  I am starting to travel and put things in place for me to begin business ventures.  This is a very unclear and exciting time in life that I feel is designed and made for exploring!  Basically, I have nothing else to do other than go for it all!

‘Tis The Season! 

As I mentioned before, I am currently single.  I believe that God is preparing me for my husband and my husband for me (yay!!).  No worries, this post is not about to get “mushy.” This is where I had to think long and hard.  What is a girl to do in this single season? It has been decided that I am going to be who I want to be, do the things I want to do (morally and with reason of course). So what does this mean, what does it include?

When I get married, there are things I want to bring into the relationship.  There are experiences I want to have and I want to look/ feel a certain way.  For example, I want to be super fit, have abs and toned body.  I want to have traveled many places and have seen parts of the world.  I want to learn different skills, maybe go back to school… okay maybe not that!

So, it is official.  I am no longer afraid of taking the steps to #BeGreat!  I have things that I now have to start doing and I am very excited about this journey!

FROM ME TO HER

      CHRISSY

For a long time I have been very discouraged.  If I am completely honest with you, I am certainly not where I want to be.  And this was really starting to affect me. Little by little I had to look at the positive things that were going on in my life and use those as a way to be encouraged and stay encouraged.

I moved to Virginia from Atlanta in 2014.  I pretty much left everything I have ever known. I have a few family members here, but I didn’t really know them that well.  That means that I was missing my support system, the people and the environment that was keeping me encouraged.

I sat down and wrote down 6 things that have really worked for me and I KNOW will work for you, if you take it seriously!

1st: Wake Up Earlier – start your day earlier.  We all have 24hours, its what you choose to do with those hours that will make a difference.   Don’t sleep away valuable time. You will be encouraged by getting more done in the day!

2nd: Make Your Time Purposeful – What are you doing with your 24 hours? Will it help you get where you want or who you want? Make sure that the steps that you take daily are purposeful, that at the end of the day, you benefitted from the actions you took!

3rd: “Don’t Nevermind” – Do not doubt yourself. If you have your heart in something, continue pressing towards it. There will be enough people in your life that will doubt you, you do not need to be one of them.

4th: Say that, “I am.” – Make all of the words verbs, let them be action words.  One way to be encouraged is being positive.  What better way is there than to speak life with your words?

5th: Have Accountability Partners – Make sure you have 1 or 2 people that will hold you accountable for certain things.  Whether they are keeping tabs on you waking up on time, or a book you are trying to read, or a task(s) that you need to be on top of.  They should be people that you trust and care about you, they want to see you succeed, they know your potential, they believe in you and lastly, they will be completely honest with you.

6th: Be In Control – Control who/what you let in your life and space. Be in control of what you put out, what and how much of yourself you give to others.  You are precious, your time is precious. Control what occupies your life!

Let me know your take of my 6 Steps To Becoming Encouraged.

From me,

Chrissy

So I have been contemplating cutting my hair for a while. The reasons I have waited this long are:

I like versatility and can’t do many styles with it short and natural.

What if I don’t like the cut and regret cutting it?

What would others say, what if they don’t like it?

Reasons why I did cut it:

-I’ve wanted to for a while, to try something different.
-Both of my sisters are natural and I LOVE their hair.
-I want healthy hair.
-I often see natural women on Instagram and I get super inspired.

Well the day came and I decided to actually go for it, the Big Chop! So since I’m up in Virginia, I had no idea how I would find a hair dresser. How would I pick the person who would perform this ultimate, important, life changing task? I googled, and instagrammed for days and even called many places. I needed it done that weekend because  if I  didn’t hurry and cut my hair, I knew that I probably change my mind.

I finally found a shop in Maryland, 30 minutes from where I live.  I drove there and was very excited and anxious the entire drive.  I met my stylist, we picked the color I wanted to dye it.  She colored my hair first, washed it and then…began to cut.

Oh my word! What have I done? There is no going back. All of these thoughts were going through my head. I thought I was going to cry(like most girls do when they do the Big Chop), but all I did was laugh,  like I was actually laughing as I watched her cut my hair off. I noticed that I look exactly like my mom when she was rocking her Afro in the 70’s.  I did it, all of my hair was mostly cut off. No one told me to do it, I just did. I was very proud of my self at that moment.

This may sound weird, but I actually felt FREE!! For years, the image of beauty has been long hair and weaves(don’t get me wrong, I love my weaves. Lol!) but at that moment, I didn’t care what others might say, knowing many would ask me, “why?”

I felt beautiful and confident, my whole attitude changed.  The way I viewed so many things changed, right after getting my hair cut.  What a magical experience that was!

So, at this point, it has been a week and one day since I did the “Big Chop” and I’m in love with who I am/have been becoming. Shoot, it’s just hair, it will grow back. (I hope.)

I will always remember the date 7.11.2015, the day I decided to start completely over.

“A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.” -Coco Chanel

From me,

-Chrissy

It has truly been a difficult few weeks.  I’ve have found my self to be sad because none of my friends back home, Atlanta, have come to visit me  (okay, one friend. They actually came up 4 times.)

I have been trying to overcome the fear of doing things by myself  I want to go to bars and the museums; I just haven’t found the guts to take myself there.

Although I have a little family here, I seem to still feel lonely at times.  Maybe God wants me to Himself in this season. I don’t know, I’m still trying to figure it out.

From me,

-Chrissy

I have neglected my blog for a while, but Im back for good now!!

For a while I have wanted to post but I got scared and nervous.  I thought that it had been too long since my last post, in January.  When I get nervous or scared about something, I do the opposite of most.  I don’t really challenge my fear, I just accept it.

Well, not anymore! I want to continue to grow and transform and to share this journey with you all.

Continue to stayed tuned, for I have SOOO much that I am planning for the remainder of this year.

From Me,

Chrissy

This is the very first time in my whole life that I have gone to a restaurant and ate alone.  I was so nervous about it.  I was not sure if people would think that I was stood up or if I was lame (lol). I didnt know if I would look silly sitting by myself, waiting on my food to arrive and not have anyone to talk to.

Well, I actually didnt feel any of that. ( I’m actually typing in the restaurant right now, haha!)

I actually feel really cool and I’m not really concerned what others around me are thinking (thats surprising). I’m enjoying my own company and my own thoughts.

Not only was eating alone a first for me, but today was also the first time I have ever eaten a veggie burger( I’m tryng to stay away from meat), and I was pleasently surprised!!

My waitress, Aya, was fantastic and I think I will definantly feel confident and comfortable to eat alone again.

{I’m eating at Ted’s Bulletin- Fairfax, VA.}

From me,

Chrissy

Well, I have graduated form the 12 week training program and I now live in Virginia.

-The End!

Just kidding, although those are both facts, so much has happened. So yes, I did graduate from the program.  I only had a week to “get my life together” for my new job position in Virginia!! This was very exciting news, but also a very stressful week.

– I had to purchase a car (suv, and I wanted a certain price range and milage- this made it really hard)

– I had to pack all of my things

– I had to see family and friends

-and mentally prepare for my life to change.

So, I had to purchase a car and fortunately for me, I knew someone that works at a car dealership (Nalley BMW in Decatur, GA. (no, I don’t have a BMW) His name is Khiry Peterson and if ANYONE needs a new/used vehicle, he is truly the best!!). Then I had to deal with my credit union and find a reasonably priced insurance company.  They were my two biggest headaches.

I also had to find time to see my friends and some family members.  All that week, I couldn’t believe that I was actually moving. As I sat there one day packing my clothes, I really did become emotional. I really can not believe all of this is happening!

I am truly thankful that this opportunity has happened and its allowing me to grow and mature as an idividual.  Only God!!