It’s only March, right? Well things are already changing beyond my belief. I am truly in a transitional space in life.
Within 3 months, I have moved out of my apartment in Fairfax, Va to live with family in Burke, Va. It was emotionally really difficult for me because I did not want to leave the place that I created for myself and called home for 2 years. I was leaving an 800sf apartment to live in a single bedroom. Don’t get me wrong, I was very thankful to have somewhere to go and for family to take me in; it was just difficult because I had to basically fit an entire apartment (as much as I could) into an already furnished bedroom in their home.
The first few nights there, I was really depressed. I was hurting, unsure what I was doing with my life and I felt like a failure! How did I go from making so much mommy 2 years ago to now, barely being able to provide for myself?
In the last 1.5 years, I’ve had many jobs and life seemed to get more and more challenging. I felt like a zombie most days; just going through the motion. I’d get up everyday and work for 14 hours straight (2 jobs). Neither job really had a purpose, only to pay for the necessities.
Once I moved in with my cousins, they tried to encourage me and help me with planning my next step. I was given a deadline of time to “get it together.” That was it! That was the right type of pressure, or so I thought. Still in the following days, I wasn’t feeling confident in the jobs/positions that I was finding.
“WHAT AM I REALLY DOING?”
“WHAT DO I REALLY WANT?”
“WHY AM I HERE?”
Questions that I asked myself all day long. In one 3o minute conversation with my cousin, I quickly and confidently decided to move back to Atlanta. After 2 life altering years in Virginia, I was finally ready to go back home! I quit my job the next week and immediately started to prep for the move; mentally and emotionally prepping to change my life all over again.
My move date was quickly approaching and I no longer felt excited; now I was nervous and scared. What were people going to think. I’m not prepared to answer all of the questions, like, “…so, what happened?” I fell back into a depressed state, figuring out, should I really go back? Is this the right choice? I don’t have anything lined up there.
But God!! You have not because you ask not. I made a few phone calls to some contacts and shared that I’d be transitioning to Atlanta, to see if there would be a position available. Two days later, I received a phone call… I would start my new job 5 days after I move. Praise God!!
I’ve gone through physical, emotional and mental changes. I’m such a different person and I can say that I’m so thankful! I decided to look at my transition as a blessing. What can I take from all that has happened? What have I learned, what am I able to share with others? I chose. Thats the absolute most important thing to understand… You choose, you get to make the choice on how you respond and how you feel. I now look forward to what is about to come and I made the ultimate choice… to love my transition.
Love,
Chrissy